Marin Poetry Center Online Writing Retreat
June 29 to July 5, 2020
DAY ONE
POEM:
Almost the Same by George Bilgere
And then there was the
night, not long After my wife had left me and taken on the world-
Destroying fact of a lover, and the city
Roared in flames with it outside my window,
I brought home a nice woman who had listened
To me chant my epic woe for three
Consecutive nights of epic drinking,
Both of us holding on to the bar’s
Darkly flowing river of swirling grain
As my own misery flowed past and joined
The tributary of hers, our murmured consolations
Entwining in precisely the same
Recitative, the same duet that has beyond
All doubt been sung in dark caves
Of drink since the very beginning
Of despair, the song going on until there was nothing
For it but to drive through an early summer
Thunderstorm in the windy night
To my little East Side apartment and gently
Take off her clothes and lay her down
On my bed by the light
Of a single candle and the lightning
And kiss her for a long time in gratitude
And then desire, and then gently kiss the full
Moons of her breasts, which I discovered
By candlelight were not hers, exactly;
Under each of them was the saddest,
Tenderest little smile of a scar,
Like two sad smiles of apology.
I had them done
So he wouldn’t leave, she said,
But in the end he left anyway, her breasts
Standing like two cold cathedrals
In the light of the flaming city
And I kissed the little wounds
He had left her, as if I could heal them
And kissed the nipples he had left behind
Until they smoldered like the ashes
Of a campfire the posse finds
Days after the fugitive has slept there
And moved on, drawn by the beautiful
And terrible light of the distant city.
CRAFT:
Notice George Bilgere's imagery of stormy
weather and the world-destroying, chaotic details--the city roaring in flames,
the darkly flowing river, the swirling grain, (and grain can be linked to
drinking, too, with the grain of alcohol), dark caves of drink, thunderstorm,
windy night, lightning, ashes, campfire, posse. So these two sad lovers have to
leave the destroyed city of their past loves who have abandoned/betrayed them,
and try to warm themselves on each other during this terrible “storm” of their
shattered romantic lives. Bilgere is
also using hyperbole in order to create the emotion but
also to add humor to the poem: the world-destroying fact of a lover; the city
roared in flames; epic woe; epic drinking; my own misery flowed past and
joined/The tributary of hers; sung in dark caves/Of drink since the very
beginning/Of despair; the full/Moons of her breasts, which I discovered/By
candlelight were not hers, exactly; little smile of a scar/Like two sad smiles
of apology.
Bilgere also employs the use of simile for surprise and
humor and emotion: her breasts are like two cold cathedrals in the light of the
flaming city. Also the use of hyperbole
again, in the flaming city, and the idea of the breasts as almost a religious
experience for this woeful, but grateful (to his one night stand lover)
speaker. Then he kisses her nipples
until they “smoldered like the ashes of a campfire.” Then the woeful lover must move on to “the
terrible light of the distant city” (hyperbole again), and the “posse” only
finds the ashes of this one night stand, the “fugitive” of love having moved on
to probably more “terrible” lonely nights in the “distant city.”
WRITING PROMPT:
Using Bilgere’s opening line or a
variation of it, write a poem. You might begin:
And then there was the night…
And then there was the moment…
And then there was the day…
And then there was the hour…
And then there was the time…
On form: try using Bilgere’s form: his poem is two long
sentences in one continuous stanza. This
gives the poem a head-long rush of emotion, as if the speaker must get this all
out, is forced to spill this agony down the page. You will also notice that he uses a capital
letter to start each line.
On craft elements: try hyperbole and simile in your poem, as well as a
repeating imagery system of weather or a destroyed city or some sort of
repeating imagery pattern to get the emotion and situation across to the
reader. This poem utilizes the journey
from the bar to the woman’s apartment during this “storm” and then on into the
night, leaving the smoldering ashes of this “campfire,” of this one night
stand. You also might want to try enjambment of the lines. Notice how Bilgere spills
the line over into the next one, in order to keep the head-long rush of his
poem/journey going, this desperate journey of this night.
JOURNAL:
Wonderful journal with a friendly and encouraging editor: David Wanczyk
I've been proud to have poems in the magazine a few times.
RECIPE:
Tofu tacos are one of our go-to dinners. Remember to make enough for lunch the next day.
